Zen Student: „Is it okay to use email?“         Zen Master: “Yes, but without attachment.”

Narcissist to best mate: „I just love my new girlfriend.  We like all the same things: She loves me, and I love me!“

“Sir, what is the secret of your success?” “Two words” “And, Sir, what are they?” “Right decisions” “And how do you make right decisions?” “One word” “And what is that?” “Experience” “And how do you get your experience?” “Two words” “And, Sir, what are they?” “Wrong decisions”

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the coach, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. “I’m not aware of your problem,” the doctor said. “So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.” “Of course”, replied the patient. “In the beginning, I created the Heaven and the Earth.”

Why do they say ‘Amen‘ at the end of a prayer instead  of ‘Awomen’? Same reason we sing hymns instead of hers!