Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who “almost” achieved total spiritual enlightenment? He only made it to Nearvana.

Prediction: There will be a minor baby boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033, we shall witness the rise of the QUARANTEENS!

Zen Student: „Is it okay to use email?“         Zen Master: “Yes, but without attachment.”

Narcissist to best mate: „I just love my new girlfriend.  We like all the same things: She loves me, and I love me!“

“Sir, what is the secret of your success?” “Two words” “And, Sir, what are they?” “Right decisions” “And how do you make right decisions?” “One word” “And what is that?” “Experience” “And how do you get your experience?” “Two words” “And, Sir, what are they?” “Wrong decisions”